Gold Standard

My high school boyfriend informed me that my tits were still the gold standard.  Unfortunately, he has not seen them since I was 19 and I’m pretty sure they’ve dropped about two stories since then.  But, I will bask in the glory of my teenage tits for as long as I can.

Of course, he is the gold standard for high school boyfriends.  He had a car and drove me everywhere, he played guitar in a band, he thought I was super funny and hot, he only cheated on me once (and vice versa), and was a big ol’ bottom.  Right?  Perfect high school boyfriend for a soon to be dyke – who still doesn’t drive by the way.

Speaking of hands down…he was sharing with me the trials and tribulations of being a 30 something single straight guy dating in Los Angeles.  What a disaster!  Like, he has date shoes.  The pair of shoes he has that are nice enough but not too nice as to reveal how much money he makes.  He said the women he dates immediately want to find out.  If they don’t just come right out and ask, they’ll look for clues like his shoes or phone or job title to figure it out.

Of course, he described other problems with dating in LA and all I could think was that the problems aren’t LA but that he’s a bottom looking for a top stuck in world where people don’t talk about such things.  I had to explain that bottom doesn’t just mean getting penetrated (we’ll talk about that another time I promised) and that off-the-shelf straight gender roles and simplistic versions of masculine and feminine are failing him.  Tops and bottoms would help him start to understand what he likes in women and help him to articulate it better.  He seemed confused.  I guess they don’t talk like that in his straight LA world.

I said: “Like me and you in high school.  Me – top.  You – bottom.”

Like I said, gold standard in high school boyfriends.